Holyland USA

by Gleemer

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1.
03:29
2.
Believe me she’s got a lot to think about. She’ll be downstairs just as fast as she can. Besides being pregnant with my only son she’s struggling with the understanding that I might leave her that I might. He had a temper like his father. Just said enough to understand. He had his charm down to a science. I always knew he never loved her but I wondered if he might love me if he might. Swallowed your guts when you found me in the open Oh, my God
3.
It all looks better now. Maybe we won’t have to pay for it. Maybe we could put off doctors. Your sister’s crying now. Maybe you should tell your mother, but she’s making out with her boyfriend under your soft eye. Your ears they’re digging you a hole. It’s not alright to see your father tearing up the house with all your favorite pictures, the walls that broke your heart and fixed you cold cold cold cold like the motor we bought you. So drive that thing away from your father you’re tearing up the coast the road will bend your shape you’re leaving now a bloody trail that clings hard hard hard hard to the side of your body hard hard hard hard like the day that you met her So parking lot it is, cuz we’re getting kinda sick of bitches, and my friends don’t really know I’m out here under your soft eye.
4.
You tried to adopt, but you lost your nerve around their courtesy. 
“Let’s all try to find your wife some paperwork, so she can feel closer to being a mom. I know you said it’s not quite in your budget now, but you’re the man that needs to find a quicker way out.” You rode up the coast, but you lost your nerve around your parent’s eyes. I loaded the bleachers in high school when I broke his nose, and the fights with my parents all end up where nobody goes, and you hate your mother, and I hate my father for leaving just cause I’m not his baby, and he knows that we don’t share blood.
5.
Roll over, let the blood take her, cold towards the foggy bridges. She was your lover, but she drank from the gore that made them ageless. She left a letter explaining taped to your bedroom mirror. Disguised and drawn kickstart the dirt-bike and gun off towards the lighthouse. 
Your teeth were sharp like theirs. You were the answer to their prayers for death.
6.
06:11
If I try leaving you Leanna, you might just find out what you’re worth. If I try leaving with my eyes closed, you’ll get it bad, but I’ll get it worse. And the girls begin to wash my eyes. You open up from all the open wounds on backs you follow. Sally forgot him for you, you’re “a talk” to her now. If I try shutting off our basement, the stairs alone will hide you fine. If I try cutting all your hair off, you’ll get yours but I won’t get mine.
7.
03:46
You got a baby with a man who’s much too lazy. With his loaded dolls and TV walls you bought him out. So tell me all you got for making sense was below your neck accosted. Melissa I saw your grandma’s eyes in the only place you lost it. So just beat beat beat the olden times to bed. And release the expectations in your head. Say you’re sorry. Cause you’ve got a knack for losing bets, and all it goes below me, and the grey of that apartment tears your hair out. Your hair out.
8.
I’ll go drag the river for the man I could’ve been. I’ll go drag the river for myself. I used to think about the times I knew we’d tossed, and how I’d fake a smile to know it’s over. And you’re trying hard to leave your family, but they don’t know the truth. I swear to forget all the ways we used to love, and empty all the banks I planned to keep. You covered all the jewels you once showed everyone, all to disappear into the graveyard. And you’re trying hard to reach your family.
9.
It takes you so much higher just to sit back down. You’re feeding on her cold smiles. Try to read blank stares. No you don’t know half of the shit we put you through. You walked into a nightmare waiting to come true. Take what you think is yours. Take what you think you deserve. The needle leaves a bittersweet kiss on your arm.
What used to be euphoric only gets you down. You’re making it unholy with blood across the floor. A pity prayer to Jesus, “Christ we all give up.” A different choir for the same old song we’ve all heard.
10.
02:11
In and around you, the blood it flows through. 
What’d you spit it all out for? And my body, its seams, they open up. Steel wraps around you, crushes and stabs through. What’d you rip it all out for? What’d you read it aloud for? I watched you leak out through the floorboards. I lost myself in the fire. I lost my lunch on the ground. I pawed around for a body underneath the shadow of the moth we’d found.
11.
10:16
You said you were a ghost dancer, old as your mother told you. She was a good girl, when you fell to the floor she said she loved you. He said he was the “best answer”, gold that your mother sold you. Believed the witchcraft of the father that swore that he would hold you. They could’ve walked, but they didn’t know. They could’ve talked, but they let it go. They couldn’t see what was left of us was empty. And I know now. It was there all along. And I know now through whispers and songs. And I know now, we were the chosen. I know now.
12.
00:57
Boys go chasing girls trading cigarettes for curls. Hometown college love reminds you why you moved here. This place is different now. For her your limp arms drape around. Let the sting of loss remind you how you got here.

about

NCNG

Recorded and mixed in my basement.
Mastered at Space Magnetic Studio.

credits

released April 29, 2014

license

all rights reserved

tags

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